Chris Newman's Life Is Miserable And I Won

TO MY FOLLOWERS, I SING TO YOU FROM MOUNTAINTOPS - HELLOOO!!!!!!!!!! Haters can fuck off and die (F.O.D.) as always. I'm writing to you all after a long day of hard work. My school started again and I am no longer being given time off due to Brady's death since the school determined I was taking advantage of their leniency due to Brady's death. I begged my parents to remodel my room after his death since we shared a room and they accepted since they were paid a large life insurance pay out after his death. I'm still very torn up over his unexpected death but I kinda made out like a King in the deal. I have been dranking some red stripes and watching The Original Kings of Comedy on repeat since that shit is awesome. I especially love Steve Harvey and Bernie Mac segments. I have been watching it a lot since one of my New Years Resolutions is to watch 501 movies in 501 days (inspired by Greg Turkington) and I can watch movies as many times as I want so I plan to the movie a lot more hehe. 

Chris Newman has been unable to post his blogs since that fucker lacks the willpower to write the truth day after day like I do. I have been writing blogs every day but haven't been uploading them since I am writing them primarily to hone my craft. Maybe I'll release them as a collection of memoirs or b-sides. Anyways I felt compelled to leave an update out here for my Legumies about how terrible Chris Newmans life is and how I own it. To sum it up for losers out there who haven't been keeping up since day 1, Chris Newman is a fake wannabe mountain man who is a fake vigilante and my number one opp. His stupid ass blog doesn't get views and isn't art like mine. He doesn't do shit in life! He has been silent online for months since he couldn't take the hate that our feud spawned him. I also have reason to believe his real life is in shambles. He was raised by wolves and the hot gos around Texas is that his wolf parents go a divorce. Their society is much different since they're wolves n shit but I heard that his adopted mother was biting his adopted father outside of sex and it was causing lots of marital issues. It's so funny he was adopted and that his adopted parents got divorced🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣  I can't even imagine the damage that must inflict mentally and I'm happy that he knows the pain firsthand since he has been nothing but a thorn in my side. 

Don't go to his blog. His blogs are shit. His rhymes suck(busta alert) and his life story is not worth knowing about. It is not worth a read and will waste your time much more than going on tiktok for 10 hours a day like many of the morons of life do. I am happy Christ Trump banned tiktok since it rots brains and you can immediately tell when someone uses the app because they are significantly stupider than average and less able to interact meaningfully with the world around them. I watch Youtube Reels like a real gentleman and am significantly smarter because I play it LIKE A BOSS! Anyways, this concludes my little update and I just wanted to reiterate that Chris Newman is a bitch boy who likely is failing his New Years Resolutions as we speak. Comments and likes appreciated One Love

(replace girl with Chris)