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READ CHRIS NEWMANS LATEST POST BY CLICKING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey all, I have a quick post to make. I haven't thought about Chris Newman in a long time because he is so irrelevant... but that changed today. He is now relevant much in the same way that circus clowns are. His most recent post is so funny because of how largely he fails in all he sets out to do in life. For months, Chris has prepared to be a vigilante. On his first mission, his bike and beats pill got stolen by a vagrant and he was caught and tazed by police! He is now being charged! The jokes just write themselves folks. I attached his full post below so that you guys don't have to burn your eyes by reading his disgustingly designed blog. Also, if you read it here, it won't give his blog any views and will prevent him from monetizing his blog! This is really important to me because he plans to use the money he earns from his blog to pay for an online escort and this can't happen. If Chris has female attention, he may become normal, and that would stop the fun I'm having laughing at him. If women won't look at him, Chris will continue to attempt missions further and further from normalcy (This is my mission). Furthermore, Chris and dark mike will continue to catch police attention and become arrested for what they did to Brady. Haha. Anyways guys, I'm gonna leave this blog post here for today because the post by Chris Newman is sadder, funnier and stupider than anything I could write and deserves to be read for the retarded glimpse it provides into Chris Newman's life , if nothing else.
You won't be laughing for long. I am a hydra. Every time my hips get hurt they grow bigger and bigger. You are no match for me.
ReplyDeleteHaha a hydra is a creature in Greek mythology that grows another head every time you cut one off. I'm not sure how you are a hydra if your hips grow back. If I cut off your hip, will you grow 2 more? Is that why your hips are so apocalyptic looking? I won't even bring up the Hydra genus because you don't know what that is. It sounds like what you are describing is callousing, which is something every human can do. Every time you get a boo boo on your hip, some new skin grows there so it is tougher. I don't know. This comment would be an incredible addendum to your post so that people can see how idiotic you truly are.
DeleteYou can't be wrong about something and then just call it a metaphor. How was saying I am a hydra a metaphor. Explain that for me please Professor Chris. I'm on here for less than 10 minutes a day because I only have 30 minutes of internet and wanna play games with the other 20 minutes - I can type like a cheetah and so it allows me to write these responses faster than you can cum. My wpm is on my blog if you wanna compare. And don't talk to me about literary elements you fucker. I KNOW WHAT A ZUEGMA IS SO YOU CAN RAM YOUR DICK RIGHT UP YOUR ASS! I have it on good authority that your website got so many views due to Russian bots spreading disinformation about the election. Your blog has been shown to voters to convince them to support gun control. Your blog looks like donkey anus.
DeleteLeave it to a Trumpie to be so uneducated he doesn't even know what a Metaphor is. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. I have more views because I am so much better and more entertaining than you.
DeleteHey Chris. Trump just won the presidency so you better be scared buddy! I've been flying to your house in Microsoft Flight Simulator and crashing into it with a small plane. More importantly, I've been sending screenshots of it to my Q contacts in telegram so they will be able to identify you when they Trump comes into the presidency and blows up your house.
Deletethis reminds me of divorce court when my step mom vomited on the bailiff and everybody clapped 🤣
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of the time i killed ur family and they died in front of you. YOU JUST GOT DARK MIIKED
DeleteI cannot wait until I can sit in my corner chair while I watch you parish
ReplyDeleteYeah! And you should post a screenshot of my website that shows how many more views I have than you do. You are just a loser who is waiting around to die.
DeleteCuck mike. Chris views don't mean shit to me. This is all about artistic expression and my blog is far superior to you in that regard. Bart Harley Jarvis World is a niche blog only meant for the heads. When you post surface level stuff that a child could understand, more people are able to read you blog (Which you obviously have taken advantage of). I'm curating jazz here. Some real crazy shit. They would arrest me for having this kind of reality and truth on my blog before 2001.
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