I WAS AT A RESTURANT AND JON TAFFER SHOWED UP

     Hello all of my fans and haters(specifically Anonymous in the comments) to the greatest story that has ever happened to me. This occurred the day after I broke my phone due to the unknown FBI virus. I broke my Pixel right before my mothers birthday dinner. We went to Coaches Pub in Houston Texas. I was unable to drink as I am in high school but my parents both enjoyed some drinks and then I ordered the Fucking Good Chicken Tenders and I did swear when I ordered in front of my parents. I don't remember what my parents ordered because this happened so long ago and I was so much younger. Brady ordered Spaghetti with Bitchballs and he did not swear because he is a little wimp. Anyways we got our good and my Fucking Good Chicken Tenders looked like roadkill that has been imprinted with tire. My parents were drunk and fighting so they ate their food and  i dont remember what theirs looked like because there were so many glasses on the table obscuring their plates. On the plus side I was able to drink 1/4 of a beer and 1/2 of a red stripe, 1/2 of a long island iced tea, 1/8 of a vodka shot, maybe 1/2 of a white claw and I found a vape on the ground in the bathroom that got me faded. Brady was too scared to drink and his spaghetti looked really dry and cold. 

    Brady took five bites of his meal before I was able to because I was using the bathroom because I had drank so much and broke the seal. As I came out and was about to eat my Fcuking Roadkill Chicken Tenders, I heard a man run into the bar and grille and start screaming! He was calling the chef a criminal villain an told everyone to stop eating and drinking their drinks. At first I thought that he was stealing the money from the bar and grille but I later learned that he was Jon Taffer and the people around him with colored hair are his chefs and bartenders! He found mushrooms growing in the hamburger meat and Brady's meatballs were found to be contaminated with salmonella. Thankfully I did not eat any of my chicken because it was found that the chicken had been unrefrigerated and uncooked. My parents didn't really understand what was happening so we still had to pay for the entire meal. I think there was something in the drinks because I felt really bad after drinking the alcohol. Although I may have just been drunk as fuck because this was my only time ever imbibing in alcohol before.

    Brady was not rushed to the hospital because my parents did not want to drive anywhere unnecessary after my mothers birthday dinner. I think that he may have salmonella because he scarfed down an entire meatball in the time it took me to pee without washing my hands. I am happy with this result though because it will surely give me the upper hand in our future bouts. Below is uploaded evidence of my chicken tenders. The other 4 were black and mangled, but this one looked like a fish haha maybe even a fishstick haha.