A WORMS LIFE

Hello all,

    It should be no surprise to you all that I was born during the Year of the Pig. I remember fondly learning that whenever I was out to eat at my favorite Chinese restaurant with my family and read about it on my placemat. The year of our lord, 2007, was also the year of the Pig. I think this fact is very obvious whenever you see that people born during the year of the Pig are sincere brave and easy going. I know that I am brave because while other kids from my generation go on TikTok and curl their hair, I go on Ifunny and grease my hair back and wear leather jackets and eat at diners. 

    I really believe that everything I have done and will do has already been predetermined. Not by fate or by stupid horoscopes or zodiac signs that don't mean shit but by the Year of the Pig. This is why I am on the path of bravery and sincerity and easy going-icity that others in my generation cannot follow. All that other stuff is Bullshit and so is God and the only truth is the Year of the Pig. I guess not if you were also born in the year of the pig with me because then you are swine. I am unsure if the other animals are correct as well. I have a hard time believing that there are people with the souls of horses living around me. If there were, I know that many more people would feel proud enough to display their true greaser fashion sense and stylings like me.  

    I guess I am bringing up predeterminism and philosophy because I'm a smart and intelligent guy due to being born during the Year of the Pig. It is also just on my mind a lot with the election coming up. I remember seeing visions of Q all the way back when I was a child. I was a rambunctious little man (I was pregnant with the spirit of the Year of the Pig!) and I had visions of Q. 

    These visions of Q that conquer my mind. These visions of Q have now taken my place. These vision of Q make it seem so cruel. These visions of Q that are all that remain.

I remember seeing the Twin Towers fall in social studies class and knowing that America had to strike back, and we struck back with Q. Over a lot of years, Q has been waiting until he could make his move and win back America for the patriots and freedom fighters. This was almost done in 2016 when Trump won but for some reason Q did not strike so now it is happening in the 2024 election. Q has been sending me messages and I know that Q will win the election. EVERYONE WRITE IN Q ON YOUR BALLOTS FOR PRESIDENT TO TAKE AMERICA BACK FROM AL GORE AND HIS CLIMATE FREAKS! I believe in Q because he told me in a dream that we both were born during the Year of the Pig and I know that we are now brothers. This is also why I'm so sure that the Anonymous person who lives in a city and is on the grid will be persecuted and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law in these upcoming few months. 

    For the record, I am still in high school and cannot vote in this election. I have already found a workaround with Q, and I will be voting using my dog Rufus. He will take the ballot I printed out and filled out along with a 10$ bill to my nearest polling station. Rufus has been trained to go to the voting booth and cast my vote. The 10$ is either a tip for helping Rufus in to vote, a bribe to make sure he is not arrested or perhaps money so that the person helping Rufus can buy him some treats like an apple or something. Rufus was born during the year of the Pig so we are  blood brothers and I know he will perform well for me. I tried to get Brady to vote for me but his possible salmonella poisoning is worsening and he is losing strength. I will soon be able to emasculate Brady and claim my tablet and post from my Posting Zone in peace.